- November 20, 2013
- Communication, Leadership
Last week I had the honor to be a leader of a 19-member team during the Women in Leadership Conference in San Francisco. We gathered every day for a couple of hours to digest the day and to begin the process of looking at leadership from a personal perspective as well as to use the material and discussion to arrive at some new ways of working and leading.
During these events the main opportunity is to communicate and to connect, and I was particularly interested in the Negotiation break-out session which allowed us to look at negotiation from a personal point of view.
As a promoter of communication, connection and relationship, I had a surprise during an exercise that was part of the negotiation session. We were asked to take some money out and to develop a partnership. One person in the partnership gave the other person their money. Then we were asked to negotiate to have our money returned. The person who had our money was encouraged to be honest and to return the money only when they felt there had been a successful negotiation. I presented what I thought was a very effective argument for returning my money. I gave some good reasons and explained my situation. She said no, and when the feedback occurred, she felt that she had not been engaged or that I was concerned about her perspective.
As we reviewed, I saw that in my rush to prepare a good presentation, I had overlooked what I know is the most important part of negotiation; creating a connection through communication and relationship. The power of engagement and the use of inquiry were vitally important for a successful negotiation. Throughout the week, there were many other opportunities to practice creating connection through inquiry.
As many of you are moving into the end of the final quarter of the year, it is important to create an environment of negotiation and cooperation to achieve the foundation you envision for meeting the goals for next year.
As you engage in meetings with your vision as a leader, remember that engagement is the most powerful asset you can have. Take the time to use the Essential Parts of Speech as you prepare for meetings and discussions:
- Framing
- Inquiry
- Advocacy
- Illustration
1. Framing: Prepare a brief introduction as you share your vision for the meeting:
a. What is the purpose of the conversation?
c. What do you want to discuss?
b. What is the outcome you would like to see?
c. Illustration can be part of the initial framing to create greater clarity
2. Inquiry is next: Make sure not to talk too long before pausing to engage others
a. Ask questions about how others respond to what you are presenting
b. Create a safe environment that encourages honesty; and state your desire to engage those in the room as they are vital to the results
c. Ask questions to create clarity so that others feel comfortable asking for more clarity
3. Advocacy is contained in almost every discussion. It is important to say what you envision as the result of what you believe to be a good step forward. Advocacy can be like the elephant in the room when it is not stated clearly and your agenda put on the table.
4. Inquiry is used throughout to create engagement.
A suggestion as you move forward is to always consider the engagement aspects first as you are looking at goals or initiatives. Below is a five-part self-inquiry that will help you create more focus on people to achieve greater success.
Engagement Assignment:
- A business goal that I would like to accomplish this year is:
- How can my peer colleagues or other members of my team enhance and develop my vision?
- What can I do or say to engage others (see above)?
- What do I want to hear or experience to be more engaged myself?
- How can I motivate myself to be more engaged with others?
Have a good couple of weeks and I look forward to connecting again soon. In the meantime, if you have any questions, challenges or successes you’d like to share, please be sure to leave a comment. I would enjoy hearing from you! – Patricia
